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03 July 2010 @ 01:19 am
I couldn't say how long I've known that I wanted to be submissive but I was only really awoken to how deep into my nature being submissive went until I spoke the words "yes Master". Once those words came out of my mouth, everything changed and I realised that the domination I desire isn't just sexual; I want to be dominated and owned in every sense of the word - from what I eat and drink, to how I spend my finances and how I behave from day to day. Knowing that I am owned and knowing that I have a Master who will look after me and whom I trust isn't just about sexual gratification, but it's reassuring to know that everything is in order and means that I don't have to worry so much about things. Being told how much and when to drink, monitoring what you're eating, what exercises to do and for how long, what money to spend and how - even having to ask for permission to take a shit or a piss - is a relief.

Being owned by my Master makes me feel safe and secure and happy, and knowing that he is helping me to push past whatever boundaries I have is wonderful. Every time I hesitate or feel unsure about something and he pushes me past the fear and the anxiety, I know that I am making progress to become what I was meant to be. My need to fulfill all of his desires and please him to the best of my ability will help me to become the limitless fucktoy that he deserves. I want to know that there's nothing in the world that anyone could do to me that I wouldn't secretly enjoy and I don't want to stop being pushed into things that make me hesitate, regardless of how dirty and humiliated and worthless it makes me feel afterwards. I know, in the long term, it's good; it's making me into who I want to be.

Belonging to my Master makes me feel fulfilled and complete - something I've honestly never felt before.
02 July 2010 @ 12:24 am
My master is user sextoystrainer and he will be commenting on my journal now and again.